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Yup.

A writer who’s afraid to write.

Since the last post on my triathlon blog (September 15, 2012, after the Ironman World Championship 70.3), I’ve not created a space to write online where I felt I could be myself.

On my consulting blog I felt pressured to write “how to” “educational” posts that focused on content marketing. Which is not wrong, considering that site is my content marketing consulting site! And to be clear, the pressure I felt came from me. 100% self pressure. No one ever gave me unsolicited advice on what I “should” blog about.

Self pressure leads to inconsistent writing — not good for a professional blog. Not good for SEO. Not good for self-esteem. And a blog with tumbleweeds blowing through it is just not a great impression to make on potential clients.

The choice to not write for my own business/career/platform over the past five years has stifled me to the point where I can no longer stand it.

What stopped me? It’s embarrassing to admit but here it goes:

Fear.

Which lead to excuses:

  • I’m too busy writing for clients — no time to write my own stuff
  • I need to make a living — writing for clients helps me do that
  • I have enough referrals — I don’t need to write for myself

Such rampant, mutant BS!

Since leaving the legal profession in 2005 I’ve gotten to do what I love and make money at it.There have been some tough times. There have been some ugly times. There have been some awesome times when I’ve known I was doing what I’m meant to do.

But . . . I feel like I’ve done more battling of my inner demons over these past five years than getting my own real work done.

That’s an icky feeling.

At the same time, during the past five years I’ve faced head on things that up to that point I’d been unwilling to face.

The ability to stay present, invested, and filled with passion about what I’m doing started with the Silverman triathlon and continued through the founding of my writing business.

It continues today as I realize that, though I’ve come a long way personally and professionally, I’ve been avoiding the one thing that will launch me wherever I choose to go next.

Building a platform for MY WORK through writing.

The role models  I respect in the content marketing industry all say different versions of the same thing:

Find your voice.

Every industry needs strong voices, opinions, points of view. It’s one of the ways to set yourself apart online.

I’m at last starting to do that with Frankly Good Coffee. Starting. The key now is to show up every day, do the work, and execute a solid strategy designed to help us grow the business.

I know it will work.

Because content marketing is, above all else, a mindset.

So, rather than forcing myself to write (on my consulting site) what I “think” everyone “wants to hear” I’m going to write here, in this quasi personal/professional space.

Because even though I’ve spent the past five years writing and strategizing for brilliant business owners I admire, I’ve stifled my own voice by not writing for me. For my business. For my career. For my sanity.

Here we go . . . . .

Flickr Creative Commons Image by Sean MacEntee

3Pingbacks & Trackbacks on I’m Afraid to Write

  1. […] I’m not writing the way I desire to. I feel the need to prove that I can. I want to put my writing on display. While writing does come naturally to me, putting it on display scares the hell out of me. AND writing is necessary for my business. As a business owner I am a writer by default (in addition to being a professional writer). And there, my friends, is the stake. Bolstered by a healthy dose of fear. […]

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